Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
