He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
