hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
