and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Dicks are not precious.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
