I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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