the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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