hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
