What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
