You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
