just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
