I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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