Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
