were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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