We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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