girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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