They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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