we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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