If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
