very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
