I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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