You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
