i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
