I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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