There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
