I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
