a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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