It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
