About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
