how can u be prego again
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
