We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
