it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
