He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
