I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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