i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
