this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
