one word: firstdatebathroomanal
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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