your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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