I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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