All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
