she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
