Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
