i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
