playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
