do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
