We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
