bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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