Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
