So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
