Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
