Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
