i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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