i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
