I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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